


Just Like Today

by Middle_Earth_NZ



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Avengers Shawarma Scene, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 09:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15682398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Middle_Earth_NZ/pseuds/Middle_Earth_NZ
Summary: The experience of flying a nuclear missile through a portal to another dimension left Tony a little more shaken up than he'd thought in the beginning...





	Just Like Today

Tony couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this exhausted. His entire body was aching in a way that only three days in the workshop with no sleep combined with one of Happy’s boxing sessions, a full body workout and beating up some terrorists could achieve. Or, apparently, an alien invasion. Huh. Who would have thought? (Not that he’d had that one in his frame of reference before today. Still, Tony could admit freely that he’d have had no problem with _not_ adding ‘alien invasion’ to said frame of reference. Ever. Seriously – aliens sucked as long as they weren’t on screen in some science fiction movie.)

“Guys, this place is still staffed! Score, I’d say!” Barton’s voice cut through Tony’s thoughts and made him blink a few times to focus on the present again. Right. Shawarma. Tony wondered if he should be worried that he hadn’t even noticed that Barton had gone ahead of the rest of the team to check if the Shawarma joint was still in a condition to serve food to hungry superheroes. But worry wasn’t on Tony’s priority list anymore for today, so he gave his teammate a thumbs up and grinned. “Sweet! What are we waiting for? Let’s invade this place!”

Barely five minutes later, they were sitting around the largest table in the small restaurant, waiting for their food. Nobody seemed in the mood to talk, and for once, Tony didn’t mind. Usually, he wasn’t one for quiet companionship – whenever he wasn’t working on something or physically moving, he’d get bored faster than a five-year-old with ADHD. (Pepper’s words, not his.) But right now, Tony was just as tired as the rest of the team looked. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to find a more comfortable position in his chair, but no matter how much he shifted, something always kept digging into a bruise or aching muscle. Sighing to himself, he gave up on the act and glanced around the table instead.

Thor was the only one who didn’t look like he was about to fall over; even Rogers appeared beat. And looking over at Barton and Romanoff’s bruised and battered appearances, Tony knew exactly why he had the habit of wearing armor in battle. (Not that he’d needed that reminder anyway. Who would voluntarily fight an army of aliens with anything less than a body suit made of gold-titanium alloy? Definitely not him. He was reckless, not suicidal.) Banner was the only one who had walked out of the battle unscathed. After having seen the Hulk in action, Tony’s fascination with him had turned into a great deal of respect for both the rage monster and the doctor himself.

And just as he was thinking that thought, it suddenly crossed his mind that he really wouldn’t mind if this ‘Avengers’ thing wasn’t just a one-off. He wasn’t going to fool himself – he didn’t really know these guys, had no idea if they’d get along or if their unexpectedly good teamwork today had been nothing but a fluke. Still – Tony couldn’t deny the way they had started to form some sort of bond over the past few hours. Even him and Rogers, he realized with some surprise. Of course, Tony wasn’t expecting to become best buddies with him overnight, but that wasn’t even the point. The point was that they all had fought together, as a team, putting their differences aside to build a unit.

He was pulled from the depths of his thoughts when Thor shifted beside him, accidentally brushing against his arm. Tony flinched involuntarily at the unexpected touch, surprising even himself with his exaggerated reaction. Avoiding to meet anyone's gaze, he tried to ignore the funny looks coming his way. At least nobody commented on it. Jeez, when had he become so jumpy?

Probably when he’d had a near-death experience while flying a missile through a portal, his brain supplied helpfully, and Tony almost snorted to himself. If someone had told him a few years ago that he’d be the one to save the world in an act of near-self-sacrifice involving nuclear missiles, aliens, gods and portals, he’d have flipped them off and pointed them in the direction of the nearest nuthouse.

If he was totally honest with himself, Tony had to admit that even he could barely process everything that had happened today. _Especially_ the portal part. He couldn’t suppress a shudder as the image of eternal blackness, littered with billions of stars and a gigantic spaceship in the center of it flashed before his eyes again. It had been fascinating, in a way, but the foreboding feeling that left his muscles tense and his mind unsettled were overshadowing the experience.

Tony was glad when the waiter chose that exact moment to serve the shawarma, and he once again pushed his thoughts forcefully to the back of his mind to dwell on later. (Or, preferably, never.)

Everyone began digging into their food, but somehow, the hungry growling in Tony’s stomach had turned into an unpleasant churning sensation as his mind kept replaying images of the alien ship. He carried on nibbling on his food for a while, trying to get his body to relax. Goddammit, what was wrong with him all of a sudden? He wasn’t this… _jittery_ usually. Tony wiped his sweaty hands on his pants. Suddenly, the air in the restaurant felt hot and stifling, squeezing his chest like a vise. The urge to check on his arc reactor overtook him, to make sure it was still glowing, still powering the electromagnet. Still _keeping him alive._

Tony took a slow breath and willed himself to calm down. His reactor was _fine._ He had checked it over right after they had delivered Loki to SHIELD’s custody.

Determined not to let his intrusive thoughts take over his actions, Tony forced himself to keep eating and get his act together. The others seemed to be halfway through with their food anyway, so he would be able to get back to the tower in no time and do a full scan on the circle of light that was keeping his heart beating.

Said determination held on for about two minutes, tops. Before he knew it, Tony was pushing his chair back and shakily getting to his feet. He had to get out of here.

“You all right, Stark?” Tony barely registered Romanoff’s words but managed to nod and shoot what he hoped was a convincing grin in her direction. “Sure. Just getting some air, it’s too damn hot in here. Be right back.” Not his most persuasive act, but it would do. Hopefully.

Tony tried to keep his pace steady as he headed for the exit, careful not to give away how shaky his legs felt all of a sudden.

Finally outside, he all but staggered against the wall next to the busted door, almost frantically gulping in the dust-filled air. He felt sick.

Tony looked up at the sky, nearly expecting to see a vast emptiness of dark infinity. Of course, all he saw was a clear blue, barely a cloud visible as the sun began to set, casting an orange shimmer over the tops of Manhattan’s buildings. It would have been peaceful and calming on any other day, a beautiful evening in late spring, but despite the warm breeze, Tony felt himself shiver. He was icy cold all of a sudden.

What if this had only been the beginning? What if the Chitauri mothership had just been the tip of the iceberg? What if something far bigger and a hundred times more powerful were to come?

The thought crossed his mind with a terrifying suddenness that made Tony’s churning stomach spasm violently. He had barely enough time to bend over before what little he had actually managed to eat forced its way up his throat to splatter onto the pavement. Involuntarily, he sucked in a breath as the heaving of his stomach muscles jarred his battered ribs, making him choke as vomit threatened to enter his windpipe. To top it all, Tony felt his knees start to give out, and he unsuccessfully reached for the wall to keep himself upright. Shit.

Before he could hit the ground, though (and possibly end up kneeling in his own vomit, ew), two strong hands caught him around his shoulders to steady him. “Breathe,” the voice belonging to those hands commanded behind him, and if Tony hadn’t been so busy coughing his airways free, he’d have wondered why for God’s sake it had to be Rogers to witness this embarrassment. Why not Banner? Or Romanoff? Hell, he’d have preferred if _Thor_ had found him here puking his guts out.

Tony finally got his lungs under control again and spat out saliva to rid himself of the horrid taste. Then he wiped the back of his hand over his watering eyes and his mouth, slowly feeling like he could stand on his own two legs again, without the help of a super soldier. He shakily turned to Rogers. “Thanks,” Tony said hoarsely, clearing his throat as the word came out raspier than expected. He leaned against the wall and tried to will his anxious thoughts away.

Rogers’ hand didn’t leave his shoulder as he looked him up and down with a worried frown. (Jeez, did he really still look like he was about to fall over?) “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Oh well, there it was again. The Captain America Voice™, righteously demanding answers.

Tony shook his head, closing his eyes in exhaustion. “Your concern is greatly appreciated, but I’m fine. Really.” God, he could almost _feel_ the skepticism radiating off his teammate. Opening his eyes again, he waited for the nagging to start. But to his surprise, Rogers nodded after a moment. “Okay,” he said simply and leaned against the wall next to Tony, crossing his arms in a relaxed posture.

Tony frowned. He’d been sure that Rogers wouldn’t believe him and press the matter or drag him to SHIELD medical or something. He… just seemed to be the kind of guy to do that.

Another part of Tony’s brain suggested that it was simply because Rogers didn’t actually care if he was okay or not, but if that were the case, would he have come after Tony after he’d fled the restaurant? Probably not. Huh.

It took Tony several moments to realize that Rogers was leaving him a _choice_ here. Not making him talk, not demanding to hear the truth about what was going on. Just… leaning against the wall next to him with enough distance between them to give him some space while being a solid presence at his side at the same time. Leaving it up to Tony whether to tell him anything or not.

And Tony found himself appreciating the gesture more than he’d have thought. He had grown to respect this man who was standing beside him, respect the way he had his own opinions and ideologies, respect the way he not only led his team into battle but also genuinely _cared_ about the ones he was responsible for.

Not even their first face-to-face encounter on the Helicarrier could mar that sentiment – after all, it wasn’t as if Rogers hadn’t been right about what he’d said, was it? Tony wasn’t the hero type. Who was he kidding, even building the Iron Man armor had been an act of selfishness, a tool to get out of that cave in Afghanistan and later to have his own personal revenge and clean up the messes _he_ had made. To try and ease the guilt over his own actions. But now… after having fought alongside a team of similar people, people who had blood on their hands too, he felt like he had some kind of _purpose._ Something that made it all worth it.

“I’m sorry, by the way,” Rogers suddenly said, his eyes shifting to meet Tony’s gaze, “for what I said earlier. It was unjustified and simply not true. I didn’t know you and made assumptions based on some data that was shown to me. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Tony blinked in surprise. Wait. What? Either Rogers had read his mind, or they were kindred spirits who happened to have the same thoughts at the same time. Tony wasn’t sure which would be worse. Either way, he couldn’t deny that Rogers wasn’t the only one here who needed to apologize.

He shook his head and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Don’t mention it. You’re not the only one who said things they didn’t mean. I’m sorry too for all the shit that came out of my mouth. And honestly, Rogers, being called a worthless egotist is hardly the worst thing I’ve heard so far,” Tony grinned. “But ‘not a threat’? That really, really hurt my sensitive little feelings, man. Not cool.”

Rogers huffed. His mouth twisted into a smile of relief and barely hidden amusement. “If that’s all…” He paused for a moment. “It’s Steve, by the way. If you like. I just think after today we’ve all earned to be on first-name basis.”

Tony returned Rogers’ – _Steve’s_ – smile with a grin of his own. “Sure. As long as you don’t call me _Anthony_ , that is.” He gave an exaggerated shudder. “Full names are _so_ outdated.”

Steve laughed at that. “If you say so. Are you okay to go inside again?” At Tony’s slight hesitation, he added, “We can stay out here for as long as you like, though, if you don’t feel up to it yet.” There was a touch of worry in his voice again, and Tony would have none of that. He shook his head and pushed himself off the wall. “I’m fine. Just got a little overwhelmed with everything that went down today, I guess.”

Steve nodded in understanding and turned to the restaurant’s entrance. “Happens to the best of us,” he said with a reassuring smile.

Out of a sudden notion, Tony grabbed his teammate’s arm to make him stop for a moment. “Hold on for a sec. Do you… Do you think this was it? That this was a one-off? With the aliens, I mean. Or do you think there’s more to come?”

Steve studied him for a long moment before he shook his head and sighed. “I wish I could give you an answer to that.” He shrugged. “Maybe this was it. Maybe it wasn’t. I have no idea. What do _you_ think?”

Tony swallowed. “I don’t know. But it was so… _huge_. The spaceship on the other side of the portal. So big and, and _alien._ If there’s more of those…” He shook his head. His voice had left him.

“Tony.”

He looked up to meet Steve’s gaze as he felt his teammate’s hand gently squeeze his shoulder. “It’s okay to be afraid. Especially after what you’ve seen up there. But you’re not alone. I can’t tell you if there’s gonna be another alien invasion or not. But if there is, we’ll face it together as a team, just like today. And that went pretty well, didn’t it?”

Tony smiled weakly. “Yeah. I guess it did.” Steve did have a point. If there was more to come, they’d stand together, as he had said. Just like today.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed reading.  
> Since English isn't my first language, suggestions for improvements of any kind are very much appreciated! ;)


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